Traditions (Are Assumptions)

I am not a fan of many traditions.

Birthdays, holidays, adulting.

They become assumptions of my time and direction.

I stopped celebrating my birthday a while back mostly because I don’t see a reason to anymore.  I mean- I appreciate birthday wishes with a smile but for many, many years people have made a much bigger deal about my birthday than I have.  People talk about how they wanna hang out or drink or go somewhere.  Making plans and trying to make it this big, exciting event.

For most birthdays I don’t want to do any of those things.  Inevitably, someone always says, “But it’s your birthday!”  To me its just another day of the year.  Those things people want to do?  We can do any day!

I feel the same about a lot of holidays.  We have to do stuff because its “Day!”  And “Day” is important and it has to be that specific day.

Last year I was very strapped for cash around Christmas.  So I emailed my family as early as I could saying, “I’m not getting anyone anything for Christmas, so don’t feel obligated to do anything for me.”

Best.  Christmas.  Ever.

None of that shit being stressed and having to find and spend money to get people gifts.  No wracking my brain desperately trying to figure out what to get people.  The christmas season, where everyone gathers because “Day” is taking place, and I can just sit down and relax with my loved ones.  Why don’t we do this every year?

I can buy you gifts whenever I want.  But in December there is a countdown clock and the list of people isn’t very small.

Now this is some pretty low end complaining, but the thing that gets to me is that people sometimes get annoyed when I can’t or don’t want to do it.  Like there is a limited resource on how many times we can do the “thing” on the “day.”

Since when is a specific day that important.  Because we are told in elementary school and by commercials that they are important.  But they aren’t!  Just another day we’ve assigned arbitrary meaning to.  Holidays and events that can’t be replicated on another day or fine reasons to have a big to-do, but not normally!

Like a meteor shower.  Schedule big to-do’s on nights with meteor showers.

Or if you really wanna impress me, schedule a meteor shower on my birthday.

Traditions are like, socially acceptable assumptions people are allowed to make about me, my time, and my resources.  And yes, I am an adult and I do what I want but people assuming things drives me crazy.

And having children.  Fucking aye.  Lots of people have super important opinions about my ideas about reproducing.

I identify with this post a lot.  Like- this post is my spirit animal.

This isn’t a conversation I’ve had with a ton of people, but I can’t think of a single reason to have or want a child.  As far as I can tell, I’m not going to be a dad.  I’ll be a dope uncle, maybe a godfather, but kids gross me out.  They scream, and yell, and complain.

My cat can sneeze a huge booger onto my face and I laugh and think she’s weird and quirky.  When I go to the parents place, I don’t eat food that is put out because there is a toddler who touche his butthole, shoves it up his nose, and then puts it into the bag of chips.  I feel gross sometimes just being there.

But a while back when mom asked me my thoughts on having a baby and I formally told her “I don’t want to have children” she looked like she was on the verge of tears.  I get told all the time from people “you’ll want them when you are older” and “they are so rewarding!”

They certainly never appear that way.  They are a ton of resources.  They essentially end a personal life you can regularly have.  Hell, they can grow up to be someone you don’t like at all!

I guess I hope it was worth it?  Doesn’t seem like it to me!  But that’s just me.

Traditions exist as a means to pass down customs and beliefs to one another, but in this increasingly networked and digital world I feel like tradition isn’t for that anymore.  They give people a reason to do things they don’t normally do, but my personal beliefs is if I want to do something, I don’t need a reason other than I want to!

Its tradition for me to sign the end of my posts “DTM.”  What am I, a hypocrite?

-Fuck That Shit!

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Stranded in the Snow

So, it’s official. Michael and I are stranded in Pullman for Christmas.

In the last few weeks, Pullman has been absolutely covered in snow. I’m not sure how many inches we’ve had, but I know it’s enough to keep us and our cars grounded for fear of spinning out and ending up in a ditch.

To be honest, I’m a little bummed. For me, Christmas has never been anything but time with family. As you know Dan, we don’t exactly have a lot of family Christmas traditions, but even just hanging out at the parents’, eating pumpkin pie and playing board, games is enough of a tradition to make me feel nostalgic and homesick.

As I’ve been coming to terms with the fact we WON’T be getting out of Pullman for Christmas, I’ve realized that it might be time to start creating memories and traditions of my own. Right now we’re all still close enough to get together for the holidays, but that might not always be the case. If I move across the country I’ll be away from the family for most of the holidays and I can’t be moping around for the rest of my life. And what happens if one day Michael and I decide to have children? We’ll need some traditions to pass on to them.

So this week I’ve been thinking a lot about what Michael and I can do to make this Christmas seem festive and homey. I’ve come up with some ideas that I’m very excited about and I want to share them with you.

I’ve been calling my first idea the $30 Christmas Challenge. One of my favorite parts of Christmas is sitting around, drinking coffee, and watching everyone open their gifts. Well, as you probably know no one can afford the number of gifts mom and dad can. They would spoil us rotten and, as a woman with credit card debt and student loans, I can’t do that for myself or Michael. So I came up with a fun compromise for Michael and I. For this challenge, Michael and I will go to Walmart or the mall and we’ll each have $30 to spend on the other person. The idea is to get as many legitimate presents for the other person as you can. When I say legitimate, I mean no buying 30 bottles of travel deodorant or something like that. Think stocking stuffers, something the person would actually want. Whoever wins the game gets to pick the Christmas movie we watch on Christmas day.

My second idea is pretty straight forward: a Christmas Eve date day. During the holidays, Michael and I are always so busy and incredibly broke trying to get presents for everyone else. We rarely spend money on ourselves so we want to make Christmas Eve, the very last day of the holiday shopping season, a day to spoil each other. This year we’re going out for breakfast at our favorite cafe and then going to see Moana. Yes, Daniel. I will be seeing Moana tomorrow and I’m so excited!

My third idea is baking cookies for each other. Another memory I love from our childhood is making cookies with mom. I especially loved the shortbread cookies dipped in chocolate and walnuts. So good! Well, I want to continue that tradition and so Michael and I will be baking each other cookies on Christmas Day. I think I’ll be making snickerdoodles, which he loves.

My fourth idea is to find a video game we can play together. In my last post I talked about our N64 and that is still one of my favorite Christmas memories. I loved playing Mario and Legend of Zelda with you, Daniel, and I want to keep playing video games.

So what are you and Pretzel going to do for Christmas?

-EMS