The Moments that Define Us Pt. 2

I always find it nostalgic to read about our childhoods.  I remember that Christmas with the Nintendo 64 but its hard to think that it was almost 20 years ago.

Twenty fucking years ago.

Hang on.

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Its hard for me to look back and pick out the little things that defined huge swaths of my life.

Probably because memories become less about facts and certainties more about how things felt.

I started drawing when I was young because Toonami came to Nickelodeon.  I remember watching Gundam Wing for the first time.  It was amazing.  I was just sitting there slack jawed in awe of it.  I began drawing my own Gundams in my free time and building those model kits.  We moved to Washington and I had to enroll in middle school late.  The only elective classes open were scrapbooking (not a joke) and drafting.  I asked mother was drafting was and she got excited for me, “It’s like how you draw airplanes and robots!”

Drafting led to CAD drawing, which led to industrial design software, which led to me becoming a 3D render artist.  You know, the career I have today.  All because of Toonami.

I met Pretzel in middle school.  We didn’t interact much but it was around the time that I started thinking girls were really pretty and I remember her standing out to me.  She had cute hair and full lips.  We had some sort of a study hall class together and I’d always peak at her during reading hour.  She was the perfect combination of pretty and tomboy.

Innocent enough.  We didn’t even have a meet cute until high school.  We didn’t date because I was too nervous to talk to her and apparently I was into some jive bitches.  My girlfriend at the time went into my phone one weekend and deleted all of girls out of my contacts.  So I lost contact with Pretzel for a while after high school.

One day I was walking down the street heading to god knows where I and I see Pretzels friend driving down the street.  I get in front of her car to stop her and then I walk up to the window (because apparently I was a maniac) and asked her for Pretzel’s number again.

I live with Pretzel now.  We’ve been dating for two years and some change and its the happiest I’ve ever been because she’s neither jive or bitchy.

All because one day I was walking down the street and her friend drove by.

After we’d lived in Washington for a year one of our numerous Wisconsin relatives passed away.  We drove back.  Four days, twelve hours each.  I promptly finished my book the first day.  Within the first hour I think.  We pulled over to go to a department store or something and there was a Barnes and Noble.

I was wandering around.  I was just getting into literature that was more sophisticated than Animorphs and The Circle of Magic.  I was walking past a “Must Reads” table and picked one up.  The cover looked neat and the world looked expansive.

It was Steven Eriksons Gardens of the Moon.  I read his books to this day and wait for them with bated breath.  I have that original hardcover on my shelf along with the rest of the series.  I’ve been reading that series for almost two decades.


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Seriously, read this series.

One summer my previously mentioned jive bitch and I were out shopping.  And by shopping I mean stealing stuff.  You know this one.  We went to Winco and stole a couple of sodas.  Security was watching us and stopped us in the parking lot.  I remember being in that office.  They put the Pepsi in front of me while calling mom and dad.  The Pepsi cost $1.08 and the fine was $150.  The drink all together cost $151.08 and they didn’t even let me drink it.

So I was ultra-grounded.  I had a lot of time that summer.  I found an old set of throwing darts I was given and mom gave me some hypodermic needle heads from her nursing bag.  I used an exact-o knife to carve the plastic dart tips into mounts for the needle heads.  I made hypodermic throwing darts.  No, I never used them for anything.


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That you know of.


I did take them to school because I don’t learn lessons involving rules and guidelines to show some people.  In my science class some dude sat next to me who I’d seen around but never really talk to.  I showed him my throwing darts.

That person was Devon Cox.  The dude I’m still best buds with today.  He tells me he used to think I was a douchebag, but when he saw the darts he realized he we were going to be friends.

Because I stole a Pepsi.  If I had had a dollar on me at the time, he’d probably still think I was a douchebag.

Got anymore about me that I’m not thinking about?



The In-Betweens

I wasn’t sure what to write about today.  I’m still coming off the three week Batgirl rant.  You recommended writing about my cat, but I didn’t really know what to say about her.

This week has been productive, but with the upgrade that was salary I realized that it was more a step sideways than forwards.  I’m being paid more, and less, at the same time.  You ever felt that way about something?  Where it’s way better and super bad at the same time?

Usually my go to when I’m in a not-so-great situation is to declare that its stupid, its poorly thought out, its unfair or bullshit- then after some time I get over it and I adult my way through.

This time I’ve tried something else where I try and just say to myself “That’s how it be” and spend more energy thinking about the outcome rather than the action.

Well I’m finally in a situation where I don’t really get a good solution.  So I’ve been stressed and annoyed.

I feel like sometimes my life is a melancholy punctured by happy moments instead of the other way around.

On the drive home today I was thinking about the little moments in each day that I love.  Usually its the “in-betweens.”  Things that occur between moments, that connect my day and make sure that I’m on track.

I like the little tone my blue tooth speaker makes when I turn it on or off.

I like when I get to work, I drop off my coat and my bag at my desk and walk all the way to the back of the building to get some black tea.

I like how it feels to write with a Tül pen in my grid paper moleskin notebook.

I like the clickity-clack of my mechanical keyboard at my desk.

I like the walk down to my car after work and I listen to the cars roar by.

I like the delicate scratching sound my straight razors make while I’m shaving.

I like the really satisfying thwack that sounds when I deliver a proper kick into a hanging bag.

I like the way my body wash permeates the shower as I’m washing myself.

I love when my girlfriend messages me in the morning.

I like that my books are arranged in the correct order on my shelves.

I like when I have a full set of anything.

I like when I’m able to take the time to clean my desk; it seems like a fresh new start to making a productive mess again.

I like how my cat has to end every encounter with a slow bite of my index finger.

I like the slap sound a playing card makes as it hits the table.

I like the feeling you get when you’ve done everything your supposed to.

I like the solid click of the dead bolt as I lock the door.

I like the smell of my hands after I wash them.

I like the sound of rain on a sidewalk.

I like the gentle dance of smoke that rises from a cigar.

I like when a song is able to effectively use negative space in its melody.

I like the tightness of my feet when I first tie my shoes.

I like finding the Dorito that has been stealing all of the flavor.

I like when a wall has an interesting texture.

I like when I can listen to a song on repeat.

I like when doing something really simple really well.

I like clean, straight lines.

I like sitting at the bar right after it opens and no one has tainted the quiet.

I love when my girlfriend smiles at something I didn’t know I was doing.

I like getting refreshments before going on a long drive.

I like going to a store even when I don’t technically need anything and wondering if I’ll find something I didn’t know I wanted.

I like dragging my finger through dust on an old forgotten shelf.

I like running my thumbnails along the metal clasp of my watch.

I like when I drop something on accident and catch it like a ninja.

I like buying new office supplies.

I like looking at the wall of drinks in a convenience store.

Thinking about these moments helps the stress go away.  It makes the day seem more satisfying.  It makes the little things seem more important than the broad strokes of life.

What are your favorite in-betweens?