Traditions (Are Assumptions)

I am not a fan of many traditions.

Birthdays, holidays, adulting.

They become assumptions of my time and direction.

I stopped celebrating my birthday a while back mostly because I don’t see a reason to anymore.  I mean- I appreciate birthday wishes with a smile but for many, many years people have made a much bigger deal about my birthday than I have.  People talk about how they wanna hang out or drink or go somewhere.  Making plans and trying to make it this big, exciting event.

For most birthdays I don’t want to do any of those things.  Inevitably, someone always says, “But it’s your birthday!”  To me its just another day of the year.  Those things people want to do?  We can do any day!

I feel the same about a lot of holidays.  We have to do stuff because its “Day!”  And “Day” is important and it has to be that specific day.

Last year I was very strapped for cash around Christmas.  So I emailed my family as early as I could saying, “I’m not getting anyone anything for Christmas, so don’t feel obligated to do anything for me.”

Best.  Christmas.  Ever.

None of that shit being stressed and having to find and spend money to get people gifts.  No wracking my brain desperately trying to figure out what to get people.  The christmas season, where everyone gathers because “Day” is taking place, and I can just sit down and relax with my loved ones.  Why don’t we do this every year?

I can buy you gifts whenever I want.  But in December there is a countdown clock and the list of people isn’t very small.

Now this is some pretty low end complaining, but the thing that gets to me is that people sometimes get annoyed when I can’t or don’t want to do it.  Like there is a limited resource on how many times we can do the “thing” on the “day.”

Since when is a specific day that important.  Because we are told in elementary school and by commercials that they are important.  But they aren’t!  Just another day we’ve assigned arbitrary meaning to.  Holidays and events that can’t be replicated on another day or fine reasons to have a big to-do, but not normally!

Like a meteor shower.  Schedule big to-do’s on nights with meteor showers.

Or if you really wanna impress me, schedule a meteor shower on my birthday.

Traditions are like, socially acceptable assumptions people are allowed to make about me, my time, and my resources.  And yes, I am an adult and I do what I want but people assuming things drives me crazy.

And having children.  Fucking aye.  Lots of people have super important opinions about my ideas about reproducing.

I identify with this post a lot.  Like- this post is my spirit animal.

This isn’t a conversation I’ve had with a ton of people, but I can’t think of a single reason to have or want a child.  As far as I can tell, I’m not going to be a dad.  I’ll be a dope uncle, maybe a godfather, but kids gross me out.  They scream, and yell, and complain.

My cat can sneeze a huge booger onto my face and I laugh and think she’s weird and quirky.  When I go to the parents place, I don’t eat food that is put out because there is a toddler who touche his butthole, shoves it up his nose, and then puts it into the bag of chips.  I feel gross sometimes just being there.

But a while back when mom asked me my thoughts on having a baby and I formally told her “I don’t want to have children” she looked like she was on the verge of tears.  I get told all the time from people “you’ll want them when you are older” and “they are so rewarding!”

They certainly never appear that way.  They are a ton of resources.  They essentially end a personal life you can regularly have.  Hell, they can grow up to be someone you don’t like at all!

I guess I hope it was worth it?  Doesn’t seem like it to me!  But that’s just me.

Traditions exist as a means to pass down customs and beliefs to one another, but in this increasingly networked and digital world I feel like tradition isn’t for that anymore.  They give people a reason to do things they don’t normally do, but my personal beliefs is if I want to do something, I don’t need a reason other than I want to!

Its tradition for me to sign the end of my posts “DTM.”  What am I, a hypocrite?

-Fuck That Shit!

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