God I don’t even know what to write about so I’m going to keep typing and see what happens.
It’s been pretty slow in general within my life. I live with Pretzel and it’s awesome but we’ve settled into a contented pattern. The original idea was that we’d play Monster Hunter Generations for like- 1,000 hours. But I got pretty bored and frustrated too quickly. I then rapidly finished Dark Souls 1 so I’m left with this big media gap in my life.
I don’t know what to play! I’ve got games but none of them jump out at me like the rest. Fire Emblem is hard and I can do maybe one quest every two days. Valkyria Chronicles requires me to set up a bunch of stuff with my PS Vita. It feels like effort. I just want life to be fun and easy and not require me to have to do things. Books require time, video games require perseverance (and money), exercise is fucking goddamnit, I can’t even draw no matter how much I want to, and to top it off- NETFLIX WON’T GIVE ME WHAT I WANT.
And at work it’s similarly slow. We only have like 10 projects a week. To compare- we can turn like 80 in a busy week.
So I have an abundance of time at work so I’m like, “By jove! I have plenty of time for learning! ‘Tis time that I flex my brain and get creative!”
Then I busily do nothing.
I read blogs and look at portfolios and these people are like, “I create one new piece per day!”
I don’t have that many ideas. It’s too hard for me to generate one. And even when I do- having the passion ignite within me is almost impossible. How do they do it? Why can’t I?
I mean- granted, likely these people aren’t working a full time job- but it’s still baffling at all that they are so original all the time. My problem might be that my job is specifically about emulation. It’s not my job to create new buildings as much as it is to place design elements within existing ones.
I’m trying to get myself into other software but I just don’t know what to do. I’ve 3D sculpted a tiny bit, I played with making hyper real materials. Dunno- I need to search for the thing that drives me.
In the past I’d find something but over time I’d become disillusioned with it because effort in didn’t equal the enjoyment out. And that’s where I feel most things are. Starting a new game requires me to get through the “here’s how to play” segment. Stories have lots of exposition in the beginning. Exercise is fucking goddamnit.
So my new plan is to eat food and watch reruns. I saw a meme that makes me think of my current predicament (and also you, Emily).
I dunno- maybe I’m just in a slump. Maybe I’m not challenged. I keep just returning to familiar things that I know are fun instead of trying new things that might be.
Hopefully I rise out of this soon enough. Sorry that this one wasn’t super long, people who read my posts.
I got nothing!