Am I boring?

Do you ever feel like you’re a boring person?

Last night I got home from work, ran a few errands, and then spent the evening drinking incredibly cheap wine and watching West Wing. In the back of my mind I knew I had to write a blog post, but, for the life of me, I couldn’t think of anything to write about. My life felt so…boring. What on earth could I write about that would be interesting to other people?

To be honest, I wrote this post this morning before work. I just couldn’t find the motivation to write it last night so I went to bed, hoping inspiration would hit me in the morning and actually it did.

I’d like to talk about why sometimes we inexplicably feel boring. I know other people feel this way sometimes and often post about it on Tumblr and Twitter, but why do we feel this way?

Honestly, after thinking about it over coffee this morning, I think it’s another form of self-censorship, similar to the term guilty pleasure. Man, I have been on a self-censorship kick recently, haven’t I?

Anyway, what I mean is that logically no one is really boring. Everyone has something interesting to talk about, I think we as people have a tendency to downplay our own interests and achievements because we fear rejection from society. We don’t want to bring up what makes us happy or proud because we don’t want to feel rejected by our peers, so we by default reject ourselves and call ourselves boring.

I’ll use myself as an example. Earlier this week, as you remember, I was mentioned in a BigCatDerek Walk Around the Compound webcast, which to me is a huge deal. I watched the video at work and was so excited I immediately jumped up from my desk to tell someone. I wanted to share my excitement! Then I realized no one else in my office even knows who BigCatDerek is and they wouldn’t find it that interesting. In fact, they would find it boring.

See what I did there? Yes, a few of my coworkers wouldn’t understand my excitement, but they would still be excited for me. I was the one who decided it was uninteresting and boring because I didn’t want them to say it was uninteresting and boring. I discredited my own excitement because I felt like I should. How messed up is that?

I did something similar last night. I got home from work and decided my life was too boring to write about. Just to give you an idea of how unboring my evening was, I got home and immediately went to pick up mealworms for my chameleon, Togashi. Watching him eat is fascinating. Why couldn’t I write about that? Nope, I decided that was too boring.

After that, I went to Walmart to pick up snacks for a friend and ended up in the makeup aisle for twenty minutes, fawning over lipstick shades. Makeup and beauty products are definitely my vice, which I find a little ironic considering how much of a tomboy I was when I was a kid. Could I write about when my attitude changed? Nope, too boring. Daniel wouldn’t care about the new matte lip stains or how I associate them with self-care and self-love.

Do you care, Daniel?

When I finally got home, I cracked open a cheap bottle of cabernet, which ended up having a cork so obviously it wasn’t that cheap. Grumbling, I had to go to the kitchen to find one of our two corkscrews, which felt like a huge inconvenience! Could I have written about why we have two corkscrews and approximately ten thousand bottle openers? Nah, too boring. Could I write about how I for some reason only buy expensive beer, but never buy wine that’s more than ten dollars? Boring, boring, boring.

Would that have been boring, Daniel? Or am I just making things up in my head?

I finished off the night drinking my wine, crocheting a pillowcase for a friend, and watching West Wing on Netflix. I love West Wing specifically because of Allison Janney’s character, C.J. Cregg. She’s the Press Secretary for President Jed Bartlett and I always found her to be an inspiration. She’s smart, tough, feminine, and six feet tall. Watching her own the White House press corp always made me feel like I could accomplish anything and still be feminine, despite being a giant. Should I write about how she inspired me to go into communications and public relations? Nah, too boring.

Or is it?

Logically, my life is very interesting. It’s just not interesting to me because I live it and, instead of giving you the chance to decide if you’re interested, I just wrote it off. I kept thinking how could I continue the conversation about video games because I knew that’s what interested you instead of thinking about my own experiences.

I need to stop doing that. I need to stop discrediting myself and my hobbies just because I’m afraid someone will actually call me boring.

Sorry this post went up a little late.

-EMS

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One thought on “Am I boring?

  1. Pingback: Am I boring? – Emily Smudde

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