Republicans: Proudly Standing Against Progress

I liked your last post.  I use the phrase “guilty pleasure” many times but I’ve never really thought about what it meant.  I used to be embarrassed by things like that but since I turned old and have no time for this shit I proudly declare my love for K$sha and Taylor Swift for the world to see.  I’ll attempt to strike it from my vocabulary.


As a really clumsy segue: do you know who I would love to strike from my vocabulary?  Staunch republicans.  I feel like whenever something dumb is happening in politics I don’t even need to ask what happened; I feel safe with my guess of “the republicans got so rich they’re sick of the populous and are proposing a bill to have us all rounded up into camps.”

Seriously.  The recent law in North Carolina about barring transgender people from using the bathroom they identify their gender with is so frustrating to hear about.

You don’t know what I’m talking about?  Well the governor of North Carolina (R) signed into effect a bill that prevented local governments from enacting individual discrimination laws.  Sounds great!  Until that same law also said that people must legally use the bathroom that corresponds with their biological sex.

I.E. A woman born a man must use the men’s bathroom.

The law does say that if you have gender reassignment surgery you have your birth certificate changed!  Whoo!  Thank god gender reassignment surgery isn’t complicated, dangerous, or hard to get!

The people in N.C. say this is to prevent sexual predators from entering the bathrooms under the guise of being transgender.  Are you fucking kidding me.  There have been very few instances where this has ever happened, and even when it does it wasn’t a transgender person committing the crime.  It was some sicko committing a crime.

Thank god we changed this law.  It’ll stop those people who have been breaking laws in the first place from breaking laws!  Laws stop criminals all the time!  Do you think this’ll stop any predators?  If a person wants to enter the bathroom to commit a heinous crime this isn’t going to stop them.  In fact: there is already a case of a dude following a woman into a bathroom to confirm her gender!  So your fucking law just caused the thing you wanted to prevent!  ‘MERICA GODDAMNIT.

You know what?  To protect our men, women, and children- just to be safe- we should build separate water fountains and schools!

Out of fear and short sighted ignorance, North Carolina took an incredulous step backwards for civil rights.  Transgender people have a hard enough time just being alive, and you want them to feel incredibly unsafe entering a bathroom they don’t identify with?  So a transgender woman who’s been taking estrogen and works hard to have a convincingly female body now has to walk into a men’s bathroom?  I mean, your right, they have nothing to fear: hate crimes are illegal, too.  The law will protect them like its protecting all the men and women its protecting.

Why not just post soldiers at the doors?  Oh wait.  You’re right though, we’ll deal with that later.  After we’re done alienating some of our citizens.

Guh.  I see these headlines and its always a republican.

Proudly demanding that people have no choices in their own lives.

They are so terrified of their own shriveled micro-dicks that they can’t handle anything vaguely related to sexuality or genitalia.  Planned Parenthood?!  Providing free help and health care to young teens and people who can’t afford this shit?  NOT ON MY WATCH!  THIS IS AMERICA!  THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN MAKE DECISIONS ABOUT YOUR GENITALS ARE OLD, OUT OF TOUCH WHITE MEN.

I’m convinced that Texas republicans are trying to harm their female populous.  They are always on the war path to shut down Planned Parenthood and abortion clinics.  One famous instance a Texas woman filibustered an anti-abortion bill for 11 goddamn hours to protect the right to choose for women.  She (with the help of the supporting crowd) successfully filibustered it so they couldn’t vote it in and close almost all clinics that provide abortion services.

But these are republicans were talking about.  They don’t know how to be politicians except changing the rules like that fucking twat kid on the playground who changes them when he’s losing.

So they held another special meeting to vote upon it.  And since its a super duper special no girls allowed meeting, they can bypass certain parts of legislation and just vote it in.  And then they smugly proclaim victory over what is essentially just them masturbating in a room together.

You fucking idiots.  You were surrounded by hundreds of screaming people that were all opposing you.  When that many people show up to stop you, why don’t you take any time and try and rationalize why they are doing it?  Maybe… wait…maybe, um, MAYBE PEOPLE DON’T WANT THIS.

No, no!  You are right!  I’m so sorry!  I forgot that your personal opinion matters so much more than the opinions of hundreds of people.

Why the fuck do they care about a choice that they don’t have to make?  I’m pro-choice, but mostly that’s because I believe women should have the right over their own bodies.  I’m for abortion because I believe there are people who can’t or shouldn’t have kids.

I’ll vote for them to have the choice, every time.  Also- I don’t have a fucking vagina.  So why am I having a say?  Men in congress and men in local governments shouldn’t have a say unless they are a trained professionals.  Doctors and gynecologists.  Its an decision that should only really be decided by women who have the appropriate equipment.

If I don’t have a race car I do not belong in the Indy 500.

You would have rape victims find it nearly impossible to get abortions.  You would have them give birth to evidence of one of the most horrific moments of their lives.  You would have them look their rapists in the eyes everyday.

I acknowledge that some women might see it as a new chance to not be defined as a survivor, but a mother.

Until the rapist demands rights over their kids.

The fuck is wrong with you.  Republican monsters.

You have to change the rules every time someone follows them.  Every time they jump through every stupid hoop you put in front of them you demand more arbitrary things.  One you can hear about on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver is that clinics that provide services for women’s health need 8 foot hallways.  Republicans loudly state that this is for the health and safety of women.

We all know what you are doing.  Its the same tactic that small children use to try and get what they want.

What the hell do 8 foot hallways have to do with sexual health?  Well its so that two gurneys can pass each other in the hallway!  Duh!  It’s only coincidental that most buildings are retrofitted to be clinics and really have no need for gurneys.  A standard hallway is only like 4 feet across.  Unless you are at a hospital, most buildings aren’t running people around on wheeled beds.

So when they change these rules are arbitrary times, most clinics have a serious issue- the building they set up in doesn’t follow these rules and then must shut down.  So dozens of clinics have to close their doors.  Fewer clinics mean that women all have to use the same one.  With that much traffic it becomes difficult for women to get appointments when then they need.  Some women and even young girls have had to give up and have a baby, even if it means ruining their lives forever.

Don’t worry girls, when you are upset at your situation, just take solace in the fact that the republicans in your government whined and pleaded to have these facilities shut down for your safety and well-being.  They denied you affordable healthcare.

Its not just women they seem to hate.  Obama passed the Affordable Care Act which- in a nutshell- requires employers to provide healthcare for their employees and sets up a network of healthcare providers that people can choose from.

Essentially Obama is just trying to make having healthcare more accessible for the public.

And the republicans are having none of that shit.

They’ve opted to shut down the government instead of voting for budgets that provide healthcare for people who have trouble paying the ridiculous premiums.  So when GOP budget bills come through they refuse to vote them through, which causes the government to shut down.  Hundreds of people out of work.  Livelihoods damaged.  People dipping into savings.  This is what the republicans wanted instead of just working to be an effective government.  I mean- they don’t care- they get paid regardless.  

Of course they claim it has good reason.  Its faulty!  The website doesn’t work!  It’ll drive up prices!  Ever better they argue against GOP budgets because our national debt is so high already we can’t borrow against it.

They could’ve banded together to work towards perfecting this system, but since being a sore loser is much more important to them the reject that notion.  Instead of providing us a functional and effective government they’d rather play a devious game of “Fuck you I’m taking my ball and going home!”


I’m not saying democrats or independents are perfect.  But it annoys me that it always seems like republicans can’t handle the fact that they aren’t politically as relevant so they have to continually yell and scream at stuff that is new and confusing.  We could work together to find happy mediums but they are playing a stupid game with our lives.  Governments should serve and protect the people, not draw lines in the sand and fuck with peoples lives.


I feel better.





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